Another update: Want a peek at Christmas in the Dilorenzo house? Check out Reindeer on Red Satin. It's free!

Update from Vinnie: Finally another book about a Dilorenzo! Handsome Bastard (the title alone tells you it's about a Dilorenzo man!) is the story of my grandparents and how they met way back in ancient Rome. Guess what? I even make a guest appearance in the book. Little Vinnie D. I'm getting choked up already, so enough with the mushy stuff.

Yo! V. D. here. Glad you stopped by to visit with me and my sexy love cupcake, Trixie. She's giving me "the look" right now. She loves it when I get mushy in front of visitors. . . Hey, oh! Baby! Not so hard. . . Sheesh. The woman don't know her own strength. Almost lost the family jewels that time. Man, when she grabs me there it makes my fangs ache.

Anywho, why don't you kick off your shoes, grab a glass of something sweet and red, and hang out for a while? Don't mind the potato chips stuck in the couch cushions. If blood and booze ain't your thing, then reach over to the coffee table and there are some green teabags in the crystal dishes next to the condoms. Now that's class ain't it? They were a wedding gift from Adam and Mara Lindsay—the crystal dishes, not the condoms.

In the mood for a little reading? Right over there, by the trampoline. . .that's right. You got it, pal. The bookcase. In between the Kama Sutra and the Big Rig Repair Manual is a little story,The Taste of Death, right out of the Network's files. There's no nookie in it, but you still might want to check it out. Personally, I like something with more action and T & A, but what's the old saying? To each his own, baby.

Now, if you are in the mood for nookie, AKA, sexual pleasure, there's a really cool shop to visit called Devilish Dot's. It sure ain't for kids, but for us grown-ups who want to play, it's the place to go.

While you're checking out other playgrounds, you should click on over to theVampire Vixens and Ellora's Cave.

Hold on! You're going already? Stay for some eats. Trixie threw together some veggie pitas. VEGGIE PITAS???(She's been spending waaayyy too much time with Dulcie and her egg-head husband Matt. Sorry. I meant to say Matthew.)

What do you mean, "shut up and eat it, Vinnie?" See what I mean? Trix can be a hard woman, but she's the best. I'd stake my own heart for her, and that's no lie. Shit. This emotional stuff almost makes me lose my appetite.

So you really can't stick around for a while longer? Okay. No biggie. Mine's big enough for both of us. Hey, no offense. That was supposed to be a joke.

Before you go, check out the results of my last poll. Actually the last poll got messed up and these are the results from the poll before last. Don't shoot the messenger, baby:

Sexy Vamps?

Are vampires sexy?

Yes (16) 55%
No (0) 0%
Depends on the vampire. (13) 45%
Total Votes: 29

On your way out, make sure you stop under the mistletoe hanging from the doorway. I leave it up all the time. I used to hate the holidays, but since Trix and I got together, I'm like Mr. Good-Will-And-Cheer all year round.

What? Aw, shit, Trix! What do you mean Seraphim is on the phone? I don't want to talk to that pain-in-the-ass nutcase. . .